Mad Hattery!

Ohhh … boy.

Well, I like the color of this one.  And … well, that’s it.  The shape!  The size!  The patterned fabric!  The Fergie bow!  Noooooo!

And I don’t know if she was trying to coordinate with the blog title, or that new gigantic blockbuster movie, but let’s just say that I wouldn’t be surprised if this chapeau originally came with a big square tag that read “10/6.”

Ugh.  Please don’t repeat this one, ma’am.  Just … ugh.

Cams looks quite pleased with herself, and rightfully so — she’s wearing a repeated hat to Westminster Abbey to observe Commonwealth Day, but it’s a good repeat.  I have yet to see a royal who doesn’t look good in this shade of purple.

Looks like Zara Phillips has stumbled upon a whole new species of hybrid hattery while on equestrian business in Cambridgeshire today.  Is it a knit cap?  Is it a baseball cap?  Is it a sunvisor?  Is it some unholy combination of all three???

Princess Marie of Denmark is accompanying her husband, Prince Joachim, on an official visit to Mexico this week — and when you’re in Mexico, it would be a shame not to head out to see some of their super-cool ancient cities, wouldn’t it?  Ergo, this visit to the archaeological site of Teotihuacan.

I think Marie’s chosen just the right kind of hat for this occasion.  She’s outside, it’s fairly casual — she’s wearing blue jeans — and the whole group is sightseeing in a sunny, dusty place.  I think it’s great that she chose something that still has an elegant shape, but is perfectly utilitarian for keeping the sun off her princess-ly face.  She looks both chic and comfortable.  Bravo, Marie!

Welcome to the inaugural edition of our Historical Hattery posts here at Mad Hattery!  Major thanks to lovely reader Hans for sending in the first sample of a ridiculous antique royal chapeau for us to enjoy!

The historical hatter is question here is Cecile, the last Crown Princess of Germany.  Cecile, born in 1886, was the daughter of the Grand Duke of Mecklenburg-Schwerin and his wife, Grand Duchess Anastasia Mikhailovna of Russia.  She married German Crown Prince Wilhelm in 1905, at the tender age of 18, and was the country’s crown princess until the monarchy was abolished in the wake of the First World War.  And, apparently, she loved a good hat.

This little hattery gem is from 1910, and I could not love it more.  Ribbons and bows — check.  Giant feather plume — ohh, check. Camilla’s wilting feather plant hat could only dream of feathery-ness this major!

You know, there’s a saying in certain parts of the US — “The higher the hair, the closer to Jesus.”  Somehow, I can’t help but think that may have been some of the logic behind the towering topper shown here!  Let’s face it … the woman surely was a whole foot taller with hat and hair combined!

It’s the second day of the South African state visit, and that means the traditional Guildhall banquet … and that means a Tiara Alert!

Birgitte here is wearing one of the tiaras she sports most frequently: the Russian Palmette Tiara.  Both times we’ve seen her wearing it during our Mad Hattery coverage, though, she’s used the pink kunzite center stone — and today, she’s demonstrating how you can switch out that center piece.

I quite like the emerald here, maybe more than I like the kunzite stone.  I like the extra diamond setting around the emerald.  What about the rest of you?

Unfortunately, this is the best picture I’ve found so far of Princess Anne and Birgitte Gloucester at the state banquet this evening.  When will these photographers ever learn that Mad Hattery requires more close-ups of the rest of the royals, not just HM and Camilla?  Hmph.

Anyway, from what I can tell here (which obviously isn’t much), Anne seems to be wearing a tiara with a lower profile — maybe the Meander Tiara that once belonged to her grandmother, Princess Andrew of Greece?  And I’d bet that Birgitte is wearing either the Russian Palmette Tiara or Princess Marie Louise’s Cartier Indian Tiara.  Anyone else have thoughts?

No big surprises in this Tiara Alert — Camilla chose to wear the same tiara she usually wears to fancy occasions like state banquets: the Boucheron Honeycomb Tiara (or, as I like to call it in my own weird little head, “The Mighty Bouch.” LOL).  There’s more info about this family favorite tiara here.

Don’t get me wrong — I quite like this one, and Cams definitely has the hair to carry it off — but I’d love to see her dig more into the vaults and wear a few more of the pieces that belonged to the Queen Mum.  Let’s see some of the rare sparkly tiaras that we haven’t seen in ages!

There’s definitely a Tiara Alert at Buck House tonight — The Queen’s gotten out one of her shiniest and blingy-est tiaras for tonight’s state banquet: Queen Alexandra’s Kokoshnik Tiara.

According to the all-knowing Mad Hattery archives, we haven’t seen this tiara out and about since May 2008, when HM wore it during a state visit to Turkey.  I’m not really that surprised we don’t see it more often — even though I quite like it, it is probably one of the very fanciest ones that HM owns (if there’s a continuum of fanciness for tiaras, anyway).

Sometimes also called the Russian Kokoshnik Tiara, this sparkler was given to the Princess of Wales (later Queen Alexandra) in 1888 by Lady Salisbury on behalf of a group of 365 of the wives of the peers of the realm.  (It’s called “Russian” because it was made in the Kokoshnik style, which is a reference to a traditional Russian headdress, not because it came from Russia.)

It’s just lousy with diamonds: if you can believe it, there are nearly 500 of them in the piece.  I have a feeling that seeing it in person might be sort of like looking at a solar eclipse — it’s shiny and bright, but you might go blind if you’re not careful!

Why, hello, Camilla!  I’m so pleased to see that you’ve chosen one of my favorites of all your hats — the one you busted out recently on your trip to Canada — to help welcome President Zuma to Britain!

But — oh, no!  Don’t let it get away!  I actually like this one!